Wednesday 31 October 2012

Witches Dont Wear Knickers

Today is the 31st October (Halloween) and with the clocks being changed last week its starting to get dark quite early. I cycled back to the hotel this evening and by the time I had got there it was dark.  But, it was dry and I had been charging my USB Lezyne front light in my laptop all day and I was itching to try it out.  So, I dive into the hotel room, rip off my work clothes, on with the cycle gear and I'm back outside within a few minutes.

I set off at a steady pace, the light being excellent lighting all of the potholes up in plenty of time to avoid them and I settled into what I expected would be a really good ride.

After around 8 or 9 minutes, I pass out of Sonning and start to head into a housing estate heading towards Woodley in the Reading area.  I notice a lot of kids, dressed in the halloween outfits knocking on doors and shouting "Trick or Treat".  Note to self, keep on the look out for mad kids attempting to commit suicide in front of mad wheezer on push bike.

I hadn't been riding much longer when the weather started to change quite drastically.  Within a few minutes the rain was belting down, the wind had picked up and I was riding into horizontal rain. I quickly stopped, put on my waterproof trousers and kicked into a rhythm debating whether to turn back but found I even started to enjoy it as I turned and had the wind on my back for a change.

I start to approach a set of traffic lights for a cross roads and my traffic light is at red. I slow down and begin to stop.  To my left is a mother dressed in a witches outfit complete with spiked hat, with her right hand holding a young Dracula with an amazing flashing cape and in her left hand was a she devil with flashing devil horns.  Both kids looked to be quite young and the mother was shepherding them carefully to the lights waiting to cross the cross roads in much the same direction as me.

At this point there is a huge gust of wind complete with rain which lifts the poor ladies skirt and cape up over her head leaving nothing to the imagination and revealing a severe lack of underwear, definitely a little undressed for this time of year.  Her son to her right, who is maybe two steps behind is aghast and shouts "Mummy you haven't got any knickers on !". I am sure she hasn't seen me at this point because she replies "Yes, that's right dear, didn't you know, witches dont wear knickers and daddy likes me to dress up properly".

Now at this point she looks over her right shoulder and sees the lone cyclist waiting for the lights to change. I try my hardest to avoid a huge belly laugh at what I have both seen and heard. I'm not quite sure if its the red light but I am sure she is now extremely embarrassed .  But her little boy looks at me and says "I am a vampire....arrrggh".  I'm still trying not laugh so don't respond.  He goes on to say "My sister is a little desil" OK, I know he meant to say devil, but desil is close.

Finally he says, "My mummy is witch and witches don't wear knickers".  At this point I can't help it and reply laughing, "I Know I saw".  The little girl thinks this is hilarious and almost falls on the floor in a fit of laughter and the woman, suddenly extremely embarrassed, calls out his name (ok, for the story it would have been good for him to be called Nicholas, but alas I have to say it is Andrew) "Andrew, come on the green man is on...." she grabs both of them and begins to sprint across the crossing dragging them behind.

OK, so I'm wet, cold, in the dark at just after rush hour and useless at checking the weather but I can't help but laugh. At this point I turn and sprint back to the hotel with the rain getting heavier still, it's also pretty important to note that ghouls don't like bad weather either as the number people dropped to nothing in no time at all.  My waterproof jacket is working, my legs feel a little damp through the trousers, but the squelching in my trainers meant my feet were pretty wet by the time I got back.

It was a short ride, just under an hour but with a two minute encounter with a witch and her family that will have me laughing for quite a while.

So, it's official, another bit of scientific discovery, Witches (at least the ones in the Reading area) don't Wear Knickers.


  1. hehheh.. that was quite nice adventure..!!!!!!! specialy for halloween evening!!! hahha :)))))))